Divorce is a traumatic experience for both partners and especially for the children.

Not all children are affected in exactly the same way. Personality, age, and how you interact with your partner and children about the divorce are all factors.

Some of the emotional effects of divorce on a child are:

1.) They will often experience anxieties about how their world will change as a result of the divorce such as where will they live, what schools will they attend, etc.. This leaves them feeling anxious about the world and about what the future holds for them.

2.) They will feel a sense of loss of better times that will never come back. A time of belonging to a complete family that is lost forever. They will miss the comfort and security of having a mother and a father. This sense of loss can sometimes deepen into sadness and depression.

3.) Children are self centered in that they believe that the world is centered around them. Therefore, they may come to believe that they are somehow at fault for the break up.

4.) If the reason for the divorce isn’t apparent, they may become angry at their parents for doing something that makes little sense to them.

5.) They may feel overwhelmed with the stress of too many changes forced on them. In addition to the obvious changes of the separation of their parents, changes such as living in a different environment or new chores that they must assume will add to their stress levels.

Children suffering from the emotional trauma of divorce will often display some of the following symptoms:

1.) Rebellion against doing normal routines and activities as well as rebellion against their elders.

2.) Dramatic changes in their eating habits.

3.) Sudden weight loss or weight gain.

4.) An increase in crying, stomach aches and head aches.

5.) Insomnia

6.) Walling themselves off by becoming secretive and less conversational than before.

7.) Significant drop off in their grades at school.

8.) An increase in disciplinary problems in school.

If your child is exhibiting some of the above behaviors, then counseling is recommended.

Getting a divorce is a process that’s both demanding and stressful. Stress does it’s greatest damage to those who either minimize it’s importance or are in complete denial that they are even suffering from it.

If you’re like everyone else, then you have a stress response that can have health consequences if you aren’t proactive about dealing with it.

Here are six tips for coping with the demands and stress of divorce:

1.) The saying that no man is an island couldn’t be more true when coping with the stress of divorce.

Your emotional state plays a huge role in your levels of optimism, drive, determination, energy, and creativity.

If these levels are high, you can accomplish most things that you set out to do, without them you will lose. That’s why the support of family and friends are important. Don’t overlook this one. Men tend to downplay the role of social support during difficult times. This is a mistake.

2.) It’s well known that prolonged stress can be harmful to your cardiovascular health. That’s why it’s important to look after your health during this period. To compensate for the effects of stress, eat a balanced diet and get plenty of exercise. It’s been shown that exercise, particularly aerobic exercise, contributes to an overall feeling of well being.

3.) If you feel that your emotions are getting too much out of sync, talk to family or friends. It may be that this isn’t possible for different reasons. If so, then get some help from professionals. They can help you work though these emotions and provide useful insights.

4.) Don’t make a habit of using alcohol to deal with the stress of your divorce. This can set up a dependency that leads to self destructive behavior. Alcohol can cause you to say the wrong thing to the wrong person which may adversely affect your settlement.

5.) Coping with the daily demands of life as well as the demands of getting a divorce can be overwhelming. This overwhelming feeling of not being in control leads to great stress.

The solution to this is to get organized. Break down the demands of your life and your divorce into tasks that are written on a checklist. Getting through the checklist in a systematic way makes you feel accomplishment. This restores a sense of control over your life which reduces stress.

6.) Don’t neglect your personal appearance. An unkept appearance tends to reinforce low self esteem. It also affects how others react to you. The negative reactions of others further reinforces low self esteem. If you retain these negative self feelings, they will become self fulfilling.