Divorce For Men – 7 Mistakes To Avoid

Divorce for men is a very emotional and stressful process. Unfortunately, stress and intense emotion triggers the “fight or flight” part of the brain which makes a person irrational and impulsive.

In this state he is highly primed to make disastrous mistakes. The following are seven mistakes to watch out for:

1. Dating another woman during your divorce.

Wait until the divorce is finalized before dating other women. If you’re already seeing someone during the divorce proceedings, keep her existence a secret to your spouse and to others in contact with your spouse. Bringing another woman into the equation serves only to anger your spouse into making your divorce more contentious. The less amicable a divorce is, the longer and more expensive it becomes.

2. Using an aggressive lawyer who favors a scorched earth policy of litigation.

Stay away from aggressive lawyers that are only interested in litigation. Litigation is expensive. It’s always best to try to negotiate first. The aggressive lawyer is only interested in generating fees from drawn out divorce cases that battle it out over every small thing.

3. Making important decisions while feeling overwhelmed by a sudden divorce announcement.

An unexpected announcement of divorce from your spouse will often cause a kind of paralysis or passivity to occur. Feelings of uncertainty and possibly guilt can place you in a state of vulnerability. This may be taken advantage of by your wife to get you to agree to things that you’ll later regret. Allow this state of shock to wear off first before dealing with your wife and her lawyer.

4. Allowing yourself to get sucked into arguments with your spouse.

Don’t allow arguments with your spouse get the best of you. Practically speaking, they are pointless, emotionally draining, and can escalate to the point of complete irrationality. This leads to a more adversarial divorce that can get very costly.

5. Verbally abusing your spouse.

When dealing with your wife, avoid any sort of verbal abuse, insults, overt displays of anger, or any type of actions that may embarrass her publicly. It is in your best interest to not trigger any of her sensitivities. Doing so may enrage her enough to turn the divorce into an all out, prolonged, and expensive litigation.

6. Giving in to rage when your spouse fights “dirty”.

Sometimes children are used as a tool in an attempt to extract concessions from you. This is done with threats to limit or deny visitation rights. Don’t allow panic or rage to take hold since it may cause you to retaliate in ways that can damage your case. Instead, bring her threats to the attention of your lawyer. If you’ve been a good father to your children, visitation rights will normally be allowed.

7. Treating your divorce as an all out war.

Your divorce shouldn’t be treated as a ‘winner takes all’ battle because both sides lose when a divorce gets bitter and drawn out. Try to understand what is most important to you and what she considers to be important. Then try to do a trade off. That is, trade something that you value for something that she values. This will predispose her to be easier when both of you negotiate over items that are equally valued.

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